Cancer 4th Stage..

I can't picture myself grieving(or maybe i choose not to), even for someone i've known

I find that a bit scary..

I've never been to a funeral,
the closest was burrying my pup Sarah [ i was 9]
It still remains one of the clearest memories i have
time of death, situation, lighting, and shovel
But i can't recall how i felt when it happened
i was devastated according to my mom..
i can picture that, but i can't feel it.

I've never really looked back at that moment
but the more i think about it now
the more i feel that on some subconsious level
i remain dettached.

- They haven't told her yet.. I would have rather not known..

- I will see her when she comes.